Expats at home
Sep 8th, 2006 by Lillian
Yes, we are expats. And still we dare call this ‘adopted’ country home. Some Thai people are very pleased we call their home, our home. Some wish all the farang would go back to where they came from. Some Swiss think we aren’t really appreciative enough of our passport country.
So where is home? Can I, as an expat call this home? Does that make me an expert on Thai Culture? No.. infact the longer I’m here the less I seem to understand it… But Chiang Mai is home. Unfortunately I will always, always be the farang and sometimes that really annoys me. A thai can move to Switzerland and if not the first generation, the second will be accept as a swiss, and intergrated in the culture. But thats another topic.
I really like what Preya, a TCK wrote in her blog...
”Will I ever be Vietnamese? No. But Vietnam will always be home, and I’ve learned to stop feeling guilty for calling it home. Even those who have lived in a foreign country for less time should not be barred from feeling like they are a part of that culture. We are not static figures who simply drop into cultures; we change and are changed by our environments.”
What do you think?
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Korea is not my home. I don’t think I could ever feel that it’s my home, no matter how long I live here. But even though it’s not my home, it is in some ways “mine.” I feel something special for Korea, and I feel somewhat possessive of it. When I’m in the U.S. and I hear or see something about Korea (for example on a news broadcast) I feel almost possessive about it. When I return to Korea after I’ve been away for a few months, I feel myself re-connecting, clicking back into my place here. It’s a good feeling, but not like being home.
Having lived in 7 countries starting at the age of 3, and having people ask me where my home is has always been a difficult one to answer. But it’s never been something I stress about. I think because I moved most while I was growing up I learnt to be flexible and to adapt and accept differences. So my home, has always been where ever I happened to be at the time. Right now, Bangkok is my home. But if I had to choose the one country that I most identify with, would probably be the country of my nationality even though I only ever lived there for 4 years of my life (from when I was 4 to 8yrs), but I’ve been back almost every year of my life for summer holidays.
Sometimes, however, I tell people that I don’t have a home. Because actually that’s what it feels like deep down.
One thing I forgot to mention, I would never want to think of myself as Thai or any of the nationalities of the countries I’ve lived in. I have an identity, not a strong one, but I would always want to hang on to it as much as possible. For that reason, it doesn’t bother me that I might never be completely assimiliated into Thai culture. I don’t expect to. I’m not Thai. I’m Portuguese and that to me is important.
I agree with Baba; though I feel that Hanoi is home, I do not feel Vietnamese nor do I want to. I am American/Indian/international, and yes, at times, even though I miss Hanoi and want to live there, since I am not VNese, and I don’t feel at home in my passport countries, I too feel homeless. Sigh, the life of a TCK.
An MK ttenager who’d had moved around a lot said: ‘Home is where my bed is’. I thought what a positive attitute. He didn’t seem to worry whether he lived in Asia, in the States or Europe.
I believe that if people stopped trying to define themselves by the things that create division - titles, three letter acronyms, locations and the views of others, and concentrated on just being themselves, and being happy for it, the world would be a much better place.
Alls you do is differentiate yourself from your neighbour, and all’s that does is lead to alienation.
For me, home is where ever those I love are waiting for me when I return …
Firstly can I say how useful this blog has been to say nothing of interesting. My own personal thoughts on this topic are that it seems to be swings and roundabouts.
I am from the UK and moving to Thailand in November 2006 hence the rabid reading of all blogs Thai. My wife and her daughter were granted British citizenship after 3 years residency. Our son was born in the UK so that was not an issue.
Where it was very different was the initial access. Thailand is very easy to enter but difficult to remain - the UK is the other way round.
Perhaps the way forward is for more stringent initial checks for a longer term visa - leading to the option of permanent residency. Unfortunately the system as it stands (possibly) encourages the very people they would prefer out.