Third Culture Kids- Mono Culture Kid
Jun 21st, 2005 by Lillian
My friend and I had a big discussion about third culture kids, missionary children, or mission kids as we call them. Some children who grow up in another culture don’t seem to be effected by the foreign culture at all. There is a German man we both know who thinks of himself as German. He lived in Thailand till he was 12 then and went back to Germany. He only returned to Thailand when he was 29 years old . When I first met him I said, cool, you are a TCK but he reacted quite strongly and said no, he was a German. Some others I know hate being called a TCK….
So our question was, does everyone who grows up and lives in another culture automatically become a TCK or do some people stay mono-cultural? And, do those who are mono-culture simply live in denial because of their third culture? Maybe because they associate TCKs as something negative. Or do these people have such a strong personality, and live in such a for e.g. German environment that the country they are living in doesn’t effect them ?
I don’t know. What do you think?
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I don’t think any form of labelling people, particularly kids, is a good idea. It just gives rise to new and interesting ways to promote difference which usually leads to discrimination.
I hate the fact that Thai’s - and many other SEA cultures see fit and feel ok calling me Farang, or some version of that word. I am not French, nor of French stock, which is where the word comes from.
Labels are used by people out of pure ignorance or a desire to pigeon hole others. To me, the only form of label that is acceptable is a title or a nationality. In that way, I am British, of Irish and Scottish ancestory. Although I am this, I also believe that by way of close, long term association with non-British cultures, I am not particularly the “stereotype” Brit.
I may have gotton off your point, but I think the need to stop putting people in neat little categories is more important than the need to decide if those categories are cool, or not. And also, obviously, I am not what you would term a TCK
Yes, putting labels on other people are dangerous.. thats true hmmmm correction accepted
Giving a name gives identity. Calling myself a TCK gives me identity.
But why do you need an identity outside of who you are (name, history, nationality etc)? Is it a need to belong to something? A need to feel you fit in with a certain group? What does being a “TCK” bring to your life?
I find the whole TCK a little.. strange. Partly because I have never heard of it before (and I can easily consider my g/f to be TCK) but mostly becuase it seems to serve only to segregate you from others and yet you accept it and, indeed, welcome it.
I feel it is simply conforting to know that others can relate to the experience ….in this case ….to be TCK….I am TCK because of my history and my 2 different nationalities..(or is it 3?)…I guess It takes a TCK to understand one.
Gabriella
I wrote a post about it HIM. Very philopophical question… why do I need Identity, now do I get identity.. Who am I.
Wonder what your g/f thinks about TCKs? Has she heard the phrase before?
I really dont think she has ever heard of it or, at least, she has never mentioned it. Maybe when she reads this, she’ll comment (she’s on her way back to Bangkok right now).
I’ll read your new post
But right now, from what has been said, TCK just sounds like a safety net for people in new countries so they don’t feel alone - something some of us actually have to deal with day to day.
Gabriella: I find it interesting that you feel a sense of similarity with other “TCK”, although i don’t know what exactly your mix is, obviously, I must ask what, for instance, you would *really* have in common with a Chinese child, born in Singapore and rasied in Australia, past the fact that you have a varied childhood? How do you find comfort with such a vastly general and nebulous concept? I would never, for instance, say that I feel comfort because other Brits can “relate to my experience”.
This reminds me of a lesson well learnt here in Bangkok. Farangs (sigh) stick together and some become friends, but often the fact is that if you had a choice, these people may not be your friends. You simply end up friends because of lack of choice and need for something vaguely familiar. That, along with TCK seems to smell a bit od desperation to have the similar, as opposed to true comfort?
Him,
I am a swiss born, raised back and forward between italy and switzerland, traveled and lived in different parts of the world and now married to a american, living in the USA.
the web listed below( a link on Lillians blog) will explain in a very open way the why’s and how come’s I feel that way.( roothlessness/ restlessness, lonelieness and isolation and all the other,also good, issues that come with it) …if not, it is OK too, we do not all need to agree to the same thing, and I am certenly not going to fight about it.
Good luck,
Gabriella
htt://www.worldweave.com/procon.htm
Although I’ve probably had the most varied background around here, I never considered myself as something special to need to be under an umbrella of TCK. Of course, I consider myself to be more culturally sensitive and more globally aware than someone who has lived all their lives in the same village and it’s always interesting to meet someone else who has had a similar experience. But I don’t see myself as being apart from, or better than everyone else because of it.
I know I’m commenting on something that’s been written a very long time ago, but seeing it for the first time I’m so excited to see it’s being discussed!!
I identify myself as a Global Nomad & my friends & colleagues have learned this term because for me it’s the best way of explaining my mix of cultures. If one were to ask my nationality, place of birth, where I lived the longest or where I now live (which are common ideas of where one would identify as being “from”) I would not have the same answer twice.
On the other hand, my father said that he was hurt that I saw myself as a global nomad! He wanted his children to identify with being American! He grew up in pre WWII China & attended a British boarding school where he was singled out & picked on for being an American. Perhaps this is what brought out his national pride?
I have siblings & they all have different feelings about growing up overseas, but they all see it as something they’re finished with. They’ve all settled in different states in the US. One brother in particular grew up just waiting to move to the States. I moved there only because I basically had to.
It would be a terribly interesting study to find what factors make us feel more or less patriotic (for lack of a better term!), if there are any.
As for the comfort of a GN social network, I relate best with others like me because I don’t feel like I’m the odd one out. GNs tend to have more global, open-minded attitudes so I can talk about international issues or cultural issues & be understood.
I am enjoying the topics you bring up, Lillian! I hope you & other GNs visit my site which has a forum with a bunch of the topics that you’ve already mentioned on your blog:
www.globalnomaddirectory.com